"Something as curious as the monarchy won't survive unless you take account of people's attitudes. After all, if people don't want it, they won't have it."Prince Charles
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Hi there, how's it going? I'm the Wisecrackin' Guru. Yes, that's me, the internet marketing extraordinaire that you've all heard about, and I'm here to help you, with the best money making tip you'll ever learn. Hey, I'm rich and you're not, but don't worry, I'll still talk to you. Even though I'm way too important to do anything like that. But I'm feeling generous today so I'll give you the glorious gift of one minute of my precious time. But please- try to keep drooling to a minimum.
You might think I'm an obnoxious jerk, but you'll get over it. I prefer to think of myself as lovable and adorable and here to help you. I tell it like it is- you want to hear the truth right? Right! And in this article I'm gonna reveal to you a great truth that ALL rich people have in common. And once you know and apply this great truth, then YOU too will know what it takes to make money and get rich.
So who the heck am I? I'm the guy whose ferrari you see taking up two parking spots and you think to yourself "You bastard!" And you know what- you're absolutely right. But I couldn't care less cause I'm filthy rich. You've probably heard of my cousin the Rich Jerk. Yes, that's him- the famous millionaire maker. He's so smart that he's got his own fan club. I know, I know what you're thinking- you're thinking "What a brilliant gene pool". Well, if you insist.
So how's it going anyway? How's life been treating ya? Yes I know- life's tough I hear you moan. It's getting harder and harder to make ends meet on the pathetic 20 bucks an hour your miserable employer pays you. Life's not fair right? Well of course life's fair! If you want to be rich then you have to actually do something to make it happen! Yes that's right my friend! How ya gonna make more money if your bum is permanently welded to the couch? You have to unmould your bum off the couch, you can do it! Yes, grab a crow bar and prise it off slowly, and listen up cause I've got something to tell ya.
Like they say- the greatest journey ever made started out with a single step, and the first step you can make is away from the TV and the six- pack, at least for a minute while I tell you something. I tell it like it is. I cut through the bullcrap. Sure I might offend you, but you'll get over it. You might think I'm rude and obnoxious and once again you're absolutely right! But I don't care cause I'm filthy rich. And whether you like it or not you want to be filthy rich too like me or else you wouldn't be reading this now. So let me tell you this fact- you can never get filthy rich just earning 20 bucks an hour, or whatever pathetic amount your employer pays you. You have to take ACTION and do something extra if you want to make more money and be rich. And that my friend is part one of THE great truth that you must know. All successful people take action- they don't just sit around and wait for something to happen.
But there's one more part to this secret that most people never find out. And here it is: If you're gonna take action, then you have to make sure it's the right kind of action. That's right- if you want to get rich then the action you take must be geared towards making you rich. I mean, getting up at 6.00am every morning and killing yourself to get ready and drive to work is action, but it sure as heck ain't the kind of action that's gonna make you rich.
If you wanna take the right kind of action that's gonna make you rich then there's only one way to do it and this is it: only take advice off people who are already successful! And nobody else! Sounds simple when you put it like that huh? But most people spend their whole lives doing the exact opposite. Most people spend their lives taking crappy advice off losers.
And that my friend is the golden secret that most people never "get". Sure, Fred your next door neighbour might think he's an expert in the sharemarket and try to dish out his money making tips to you. But is he rich? No! And what about your great Aunt Mildred who constantly lectures you about what kind of job you should have if you want to make more money. Is she rich? No! And what about your boss at work who spends all day telling you how hopeless you are. Is he rich? No! So why should you take advice off them?
The best retort you can give all these big mouth so-called-experts is simply this: "If you're so smart, why ain't YOU rich?" It works every time! Just try it and see how quickly they vanish! "But I've got a good job" I hear you wail!. Sure you've got a good job, but that miserable 20 bucks an hour isn't gonna last forever you know. Sooner or later you're gonna need more money just to survive, and then what are you gonna do? Sell your false teeth? And anyway, do you really want to spend the rest of your life being bossed around and abused by some bastard 20 year old boss? I mean, most of the miserable bosses out there have got the kinds of personalities that light up a room- when they walk out!
And watch out if you make a mistake! They'll whip you till ya light and fluffy. Personally, I couldn't care less- I'm already filthy rich- you're the one who's gonna be a miserable 60 year old employee one day, with a whinging 20 year old boss telling you what to do. Unless you decide to take some action!
You know that facts show that if you are only an employee working for an hourly wage, you have less than a 1% chance of retiring rich. I don't know about you but I don't like those odds one bit. You wouldn't even bet on a horse race with those odds. I mean, if a bookie offered you those odds on a horse race you'd tell him to get stuffed right? So why would you want to gamble your whole future with those same odds? Sheesh!
And even if you are one of those people who actually likes going to work for the social life, at least when you're filthy rich you can tell your boss to get stuffed with an extra ring of confidence. It's a beautiful thing to see.
But hey, I'm not a total snob. I've even got a few friends myself who work for an hourly wage, sure I do. One of them came out for a drink with me recently. He's still paying it off.
Hey, I know that some people think that work can be a great institution- but I'm not ready for an institution.
I mean, you could always go to university or college where they give you books about how to make money and get rich. These books should not be tossed aside lightly. They should be thrown with great force. Their authors never made a dime anyway. I mean- have you ever seen a university professor rocking up to work in a ferrari? Didn't think so. And anyway- if textbooks made you rich then librarians would all be millionaires. Ever seen a millionaire librarian? Didn't think so.
Like I said, the authors of those textbooks never made a dime in the real world anyway- only in their textbook fantasies. I mean, if you're gonna take financial advice from somebody, then at least make sure it's from somebody who's actually making money in the real world. Duh!
And how much harder it is if you have kids! Yes, those adorable darling whining little money munchers can clean out your bank account in no time! I mean, don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against kids- in fact a lot of good friends of mine used to be kids. It's just that if you've got some you might as well cut a hole in the bottom of your purse or wallet and carry it around like that, just to get into practise.
But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me? Yes, I know, I know- you think I'm lovable and adorable. It's only natural that you feel that way. In fact, I'm so important that I can't even believe that I'm sitting here talking to you right now.
Like I said, I couldn't care less if you think I'm obnoxious. I like it that way. At least that way you'll stay away from me if you ever see me in the street. I'm way too important to care anyway. I mean don't get me wrong, I love humanity- it's just the people I can't stand.
Anyway, stop ya whining. Being filthy rich can have its drawbacks too you know. Like when you tell them to paint your porsche medium salmon, and they do it orange instead. Sheesh! And you thought you had problems! Or when your pet cheetah eats too much caviar, and then gets an upset stomach and passes wind for three days. Now that's a problem! Sheesh! And you thought you had problems trying to earn a living.
So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna sit there and be miserable, or are you gonna take action? You can ignore this article and keep working hard for the rest of your life for a miserable 20 bucks an hour, or whatever pathetic amount you make, and when you're sick of it, you'll be back. Or else you can take action and start taking steps right now to improve your financial situation.And that, my friend is the secret to riches- you can put it off, or you can take action right now to improve your life. The choice is yours!
Good luck to you! from The Wisecrackin' Guru
Ps- Whatever you decide, I'll be down by the pool sipping cocktails.
About the author:
Hey, I'm way too important to sit here and write out a resource box, so I'll make it short. If you want to stop being a pathetic loser and start making money then come to http://www.makeprofit.com.au and find out how. Personally, I couldn't care less whether you do or not. I'm not about to beg you to come to my website. I'm already filthy rich- you're the one with the problem.
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